Planned Unassisted Freebirth

Birth Plan, ask the midwife, Childbirth, Homebirth, labor, Midwife, maternity care, Pregnancy

I come on here in a very honest and vulnerable place, but I feel it is important to share my thoughts with you, and where I stand on this matter!

I totally understand where many of you are coming from in wanting to stay out of standard hospitals that are failing healthy expecting families, and many do not feel they have other local options and want alternatives. Totally! I get the limited options for VBAC, twins, breech birth and even going past due date. I get the financial and insurance limits. I get that people are feeling some midwives act more like doctors or practice too medically. I get wanting privacy and to feel completely safe without any interference, and the potential negative effect of anyone’s behavior, even well-meaning, on your emotions, stress labor and ultimately labor during such a sensitive and sacred time as giving birth. 

Those wanting a homebirth or birth center birth are not getting the support they need either as there are not enough trained homebirth midwives or birth centers to go around. Even midwives who want to practice home or birthing center birth are bound by legal restrictions or their hands are tied by collaborative back up unsupportive physicians and hospitals. Many licensed legal providers are also restricted by state regulations, insurance policies, local standard of care, and even each of their own comfort level and sense of safety, fears related to previous bad outcomes impacting their current care. I get it. My heart goes out to all of you. I will continue to do my best to help.

But I can not keep quiet about planned unassisted freebirth at home. I implore you to find a homebirth midwife, if you want a homebirth. I must uphold safety of mom AND of baby, who does not have a say in this discussion. The research supports the safety of homebirth with homebirth midwives, NOT without them. Those whose planned unassisted freebirth went well are blessed. I fully support unassisted birth in all settings...with midwife there in the background at least as a lifeguard just in case.

As a homebirth midwife for nearly three decades, who has also worked in birth centers and supportive hospitals, I have seen enough situations in which healthy mom and/or baby had an unpredictable complication or emergency and would have been seriously damaged or died had I or another trained attendant not been there to literally and immediately save their lives. Period. Time was of the essence. Your midwife is ideally, at least the lifeguard for you and your baby. For the rare and uncommon.

Many mamas want the full midwifery supportive care experience and all of the other benefits that come with having a wonderful authentic midwife.  Part of that care is having a close relationship where you feel heard, respected, safe and secure, where there is full trust in a healthy women’s ability to grow, birth and breastfeed her baby until proven otherwise. 

Yes, most births go well, and all is beautiful & groovy...until it is not, and then it is so not groovy. That is when you REALLY need an excellent midwife. I have helped families with train wrecks of tragic disasters transferring to a hospital too late from a freebirth when I do shifts in the hospital. I also had to help countless women who reach out to me for guidance and help processing and healing the trauma, the shame and guilt of an unassisted birth gone bad. 

This is not the typical fear mongering you get by the medical profession, fearing you into unneeded risky interventions when all is well.  It is a legitimate real danger, and it is not a subject I can simply sugar coat. It is you and your baby’s life at stake.

The freebirth movement is doing you a disservice by telling you otherwise, that there are risks in everything, that you can train to resolve any birth emergency, even shoulder dystocia and postpartum hemorrhage - which is so not true. And I have devoted my entire career to empower women. I am also grateful for awesome midwifery and even medical/surgical care when needed and lifesaving. These are not contradictory.

Go deep. Meditate on what is best for you and your baby, how you would feel if that happened to you. Or if you went to the hospital as planned & some disaster happened. Make sure you could live with your decision no matter what the outcome.

Then you will labor best where you are most comfortable, knowing there are never any guarantees in this field. And do consider the options of traveling more of a distance to get a midwife, like people traveled to Ina May Gaskin’s center at the Farm in Tennessee to get the birth they wanted. Or hire a traveling midwife. You may also be able to find the most supportive midwife or obstetrician and birthing center or hospital and exert your legal right to have a completely beautiful undisturbed physiologic birth through postpartum without any intervention unless absolutely medically necessary and life saving.

I have helped many mamas achieve just that. It takes research, preparation and advocacy, having lots of conversations with your provider and setting in pregnancy but is more doable than you might think. 

A mama took my Love Your Birth online prep course and respectfully convinced a very medical obstetrician with high rates of induction and cesarean - her only local option, who has not even seen natural birth - to be there outside her room, just in case, until the actual birth. She surrounded herself with support she needed while in labor.

Not only did she have a transformative empowered birth experience she dreamed of and planned for, but her doctor was completely humbled, transformed and brought to tears as well….just think of the ripple effect that will have on his future practice for other mamas! Also there are many authentic wonderful midwives out there who do support undisturbed beautiful birth and have holistic approaches - there are different type of midwives….you might just need to dig deeper and do more research.

This is one of the most important days of your life. Choose wisely.

When to Call Midwife in Labor

Birth Plan, ask the midwife, Cesarean Prevention, Childbirth, Homebirth, labor, Midwife, Pregnancy, VBAC

When to Call Your Midwife (or Go In): A Real Talk Guide to Timing Labor Right

If you’ve been told to follow the 5-1-1 rule (contractions every 5 minutes, lasting 1 minute, for at least 1 hour), you’re not alone.

But here’s the truth: for most first-time vaginal births, that rule is usually way too early. And for people who’ve birthed before—especially those with fast labors—it might already be too late.

Labor doesn’t always follow a textbook pattern. So how do you know when it’s actually time to call your midwife, go to the birth center, or head to the hospital?

Let’s break it down:

Birth Timing Isn’t One-Size-Fits-All

Every body—and every birth—is unique. Some labors start with strong, spaced-out contractions. Others begin with frequent, mild ones. What matters most is how the labor feels, how you’re coping, and what your body and baby are telling you.

Here are a few real-life scenarios I’ve seen:

• Every 2–3 minutes, but only 30–45 seconds long, and you can talk through them?
  Probably still early labor—even if they’re close together.

• Every 6–8 minutes, but you’re moaning, can’t speak, and need to stop everything during a wave?
  That’s active labor, even if they’re spaced out.

So, instead of using a stopwatch alone, pay attention to:

• The intensity of the surges

• How you feel emotionally

• Whether you can rest, eat, or talk during them

Stay in regular contact with your midwife. You’ll check in early and then again when things shift. You don’t need to call at the very first signs of labor or your bloody show—especially in the middle of the night.

Unless something feels urgent, it’s okay to wait until morning to connect—so you, your partner, and your team can rest for the journey ahead.

When to Call:

• You feel like things are picking up steadily over time

• You’re feeling emotional, intense, vocal

• You’ve had a previous fast labor

• You feel pushy or like you have to poop

• Water breaks and fluid is green/brown

• You notice less baby movement even after a snack, juice, or some rest

• You’re just not sure and need to talk it out

Your midwife knows you and your history. Often, after just a short phone call, I can tell exactly where a mama is in labor.

If You’re Planning an Unmedicated Hospital Birth

Unless you’ve had a precipitous birth before (start to baby in under 3 hours), your best bet is to stay home as long as possible in healthy labor—especially if everything is normal and baby is moving as usual.

Why?

Hospitals are great at managing emergencies—but not so great at supporting undisturbed physiological birth. Their priority is quick, efficient delivery. And that can trigger the cascade of interventions: early admission → more monitoring → less freedom → higher risk of things you may not want.

You labor best when:

• You’re undisturbed

• You feel safe and private

• You can move, eat, vocalize, and ride the waves your own way

If you're coping well, let things unfold at home where your oxytocin can flow.

What to Do at Night in Early Labor

If you’re in early labor at night:

• Keep the lights off

• Breathe and rest between contractions

• Try to sleep or doze, even for 10–15 minutes at a time

You’ll need your energy later. So will your partner. You’ll be in touch with your midwife when the time is right.

A More Useful Gauge for Active Labor

Especially for first-time vaginal birthers, look for:

• Contractions every 3–4 minutes

• Lasting 60–90 seconds

• For at least an hour

• You can’t talk through them, you’re moaning, roaring, moving instinctively

And most importantly: They’re getting longer, stronger, and closer together.

If you’re not sure—it’s always okay to call your doula or midwife and talk it through.

If You’ve Given Birth Before

The focus shifts more toward intensity and emotional cues than just timing.

Some mamas have on-and-off early labor for days or weeks, but once things pick up—they can go fast. If you’ve had quick births before, stay in close contact. I often prefer to get there early and wait nearby than risk a car or bathroom baby.

Don’t Forget the Practical Stuff

Always consider:

• How far away you are

• Traffic and parking

• Time of day or night

• Snow, storms, or anything that might delay travel

Sometimes arriving “too early” is better than rushing—or not making it at all.

Trust Your Gut, Stay in Contact

You don’t need to overthink this. Stay in contact with your midwife or birth team, and trust that together, you’ll know when it’s time to go or have them come to you.

Call if:

• You’re worried

• Something feels off

• You feel pushy

• Baby isn’t moving normally

• You just need reassurance

We’re here for all of that.

You’ve Got This

No matter where or how you give birth, when you understand how labor works—and what your body really needs—you can rock your birth.

You don’t need to follow outdated formulas.
You don’t need to rush into the hospital too soon.
You do need rest, trust, a supportive team, and the freedom to birth your way.

📘 Want to go deeper?
I dive into all of this—and so much more—in my Online “Love Your Birth” Comprehensive Prep Course, where you’ll learn how to prepare, cope, advocate, and thrive during your birth journey.

Don’t forget to check out my LOVE YOUR BIRTH Online Childbirth Education Course! With 10 educational and empowering videos, and many additional bonus materials, it is everything you need to prepare yourself for the birth YOU want, to feel confident and empowered for however your birth unfolds, and not only ROCK, but also LOVE your journey.

I have a whole section on what to do if you have a precipitous labor and birth that occurs before your provider arrives or before you get to your birth setting. The section is devoted to you and to your partner about this topic in much more depth, so that you are both prepared for the most exciting adventure of a lifetime. Learn more here.

In adjunct to my course, get my Natural Birth Secrets book second edition - your best childbearing reference for the entire journey to having a baby…..from holistic modalities to common discomforts to in depth discussions on hot topics.